Friday, February 25, 2011

The Restless

I slept at about 6pm~ and woke at 12am something, and I'm very awake.. and I try to sleep again.. I wake again at 2am something.. I started sobbing, and sobbing badly.. I know you cannot assure that you will still be there for the next 2 years I'm in NS, because I myself is afraid to lose you again.. but if you were to be there for me... I will be very happy.. I would just think I have a wife in Philippines waiting for me to go home.. so I can eat her delicious meals again~ haha.. or even imagine I have kids too.. It wouldn't be that hard.. but the way you think are making thing impossible and negatively because we are too far.. but have you remembered what you say to me before? Nothing is impossible..

It's more painful to leave me now then the past 2 years I just came out.. but why did you do it?? You really wish I'm your hubby then is this what you do?? Is this how deep your Love is?? Is that even your goal?? Don't you have a plan with me, when you Love me that much?? Yet you don't like seeing me sad, yet you can't do what I want or let me do what I want.. how are you going to make your love one happy?? Why does the one I always trust do this?? That is why I'm very afraid to trust.. So I'm not really sure to trust you or not yet this happened.. I know you are very hurt when I say I don't know if I trust you.. I'm very sorry dear but the things you do really don't make me feel that way~ It takes 2 to clap.. I'm exchanging my sorrow for your happiness right now, Your happy now so you don't have to be sad to see me sad.. If you really Love me, I hope you can accept me and wait for me.. If you want me to share my sadness with you, share my happiness with you, then we should just go through together.. that's just how it is for being together happily when you really love somebody.. ;'(

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