Sunday, March 13, 2011

Afraid to Sleep..

I was feeling fine yesterday night.. but when I woke up this morning, my mind was thinking about you again.. I even dreamt that today was our Anniversary, I even see cakes.. My mind wouldn't stop thinking and I couldn't sleep.. I thought it was 1pm or smth because yesterday I sleep late, it was 10am.. I normally don't wake at this time.. because my mind keep running the thoughts of you.. I'm very stress and frustrated I started crying.. Why do I always have to be like this the next day?? Why can't I stop thinking about you??

I start to think what's the point of crying when you no longer cry for me any more?? I started to sob badly after thinking of that.. In my mind, it's endless thoughts of suicide.. I can't control my mind any more, I'm tired of my body, my mind and you!! I try to get up of my bed, nobody was home.. I felt weak, my whole body is feeling numb.. I look in the mirror, my eyes are red.. tears are still in my eyes, I still have a glum face.. Tomorrow is our Anniversary.. I don't know how I can take the pain again.. I just hope you can accept me soon, better for tomorrow.. so we can start again.. I Love You.. so deep.. it hurts~ ;'(

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