Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Nightmares

I'm so afraid to sleep.. I had my nightmare just now again.. It's very terrible.. it's always coming to me, everyday... A mix of reality and dreaming.. it's very bad.. I woke with fear, I woke with my heart beating so hard and fast, and I breathe so heavily.. I couldn't stop this fear until now im writing.. It's so real and a dream at a same time..

I thought I would have lost you.. I see you abandoning this Facebook account.. You started blocking your pictures, you started deleting friends.. You start to change so fast, I'm so afraid you don't want to talk to me again.. I'm so afraid of you deleting me, leaving me alone and secretly create a new Facebook account.. I'm so afraid.. I don't want you to leave me again... I'm so afraid to sleep.. I slept at late 3+am.. but I woke at 8.45am.. everyday been like this.. I lack and lack of sleep everyday.. I woke because of this, I'm tired.. I fell asleep.. I woke up with hard beating so fast again.. so I stopped sleeping even when I'm tired.. I have to get up of bed and use the comp.. I don't know what to do.. the realistic nightmares just won't stop!! I only get this when I'm half awake.. because it starts to mix reality with dreams.. I feel so lost now.. ;'(

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